Knowledge Drop – April 29, 2018 — Bart Starr Edition
Today we give you an all-NFL edition of the Knowledge Drop. Baseball will be here. Every. Day. Until. October. And. Maybe. November. But you wouldn’t respect us in the morning if we didn’t talk NFL draft today. And it’s a Sunday. Duh.
We thank you for your patience as we construct, revise and edit our website and newsletter formats to your liking and preferences. As a reward, we are giving away the Big Mac Knowledge Drop and membership for April AND May, as we gear up for Fantasy football season as well. Please help us spread the word about Big Mac.
*Bart Starr is a legend, of course. The most famous #15 in pro football history (sorry Brandon Marshall), the Hall-of-Famer was a five time NFL champion, a two-time Super Bowl MVP, and made the Pro-Bowl four times. The also threw 152 TD and 138 INT in his career.
LUKEWARM TAKES – FANTASY-RELEVANT NFL DRAFT OBSERVATIONS
We’re going to be honest with you. The NFL Draft is about 1,478 percent overrated. So. Much. Talk. So. Little. Relevance. Of course it’s exciting to put a brand new, talented face (or seven) on your team’s training camp list. But. like everything in the NFL, overexposure renders it mostly silly. The vast majority of the names called won’t make an NFL roster this season, or ever. And, for Fantasy purposes, we are mostly concerned with the names on offense. Here are our high-level Fantasy-specific takes on the might NFL Draft. (Can you tell we need coffee?)
- What were the Browns thinking? If Big Mac ran the Browns, we ‘d have taken Saquon Barkley with the top overall pick. Because we also had the fourth pick, meaning we were guaranteed one of the top QBs also, and probably would have had the chance to draft Baker Mayfield overall. Even if we liked Mayfield at #1, we’d have jumped at Bradley Chubb at #4. But Fantasy-wise, Barkley and any of the QBs would have made a lethal combo and the presence of each other would lessen the pressure to be “the guy” in Cleveland. That said, we do think Nick Chubb can produce in 2018 so it might work out okay, but we don’t like Mayfield as the top choice.
- We like what the Jets did on offense. Much like when defensive stalwarts Leonard Williams and Jamal Adams fell to the Jets in recent drafts, calling Sam Darnold’s name at #3 wasn’t exactly a profile in courage, but you take your gifts when they come. (Potential Week 1 Monday Night Football showdown between the forever-linked Darnold and Mayfield). Fourth round TE Chris Herndon can be a Fantasy contributor this season and will likely start all 16 games for the Jets, who let Austin Sefarian-Jenkins walk.
- We know we said we are focused on offense, but the Chicago Bears selection of LB Roquan Smith was not only a no-brainer, but alone might bring the Bears defense back to prominence in the Fantasy and the “real” NFL. The best defensive player in the draft will pay immediate dividends on the middle of the D for the Monsters of the Midway.
- Saquon Barkley is a generational running back. We think he will be the only first-round selection to have a significant Fantasy contribution. We know the Giants hope he’s a superstar because they essentially let the Jets have Darnold for potentially 15 seasons and we know running backs almost never make age 30, at least on that superstar level.
- Ronald Jones II joins Nick Chubb as second round RBs we are excited to see. He’s a dynamic athlete and although he’ll share a Tampa backfield with Jacquizz “Jizz” Rodgers and Peyton Barber, he will contribute and will be a versatile contributors right away.
- Mike Gesicki, the new Miami tight end, reminds us of Evan Ingram. We will be closely watching his ADP in hopes of grabbing him mid- to late-draft in August.
- Kerryon Johnson joins a crowded Lions backfield, and we don’t think he’ll stand out right away. We just want to point out that his nickname should be “My Wayward Son” and should be on the Chiefs.
- Christian Kirk, the new Cardinals WR, has WR1/WR2 potential, perhaps not right away. We just want him to be named Captain of the team.
We will provide much greater coverage of Fantasy-relevant rookie talent as we move through baseball season into Fantasy football mayhem. But lets let the dust settle and let trades/undrafted free agent signings complete before promising the precise role of certain players. After all, Sam Darnold will be more valuable if the Jets landed Dez Bryant, right? For New York’s sake, we hope that doesn’t happen, but we’re just sayin’….
Be warned. We are telling you that this is actual fake news. Though if we didn’t tell you, you might have actually believed it.
NFL Moves Announces Site of 2019 Draft
The NFL today announced that beginning in 2019, the NFL draft will be held on the planet Uranus. The precise location within Uranus has not been determined, but the choices are believed to be between a Trump resort and a new stadium that is hoping to attract the Chargers for the 2024 season.
Expansion is always on the mind of league said the NFL’s fearless coward leader, Roger Goodell.
“Let’s face it – we took the name of the entire world’s favorite sport for our own, we ask our players to play on Thursday nights – Thursday!!! – we treat domestic violence like it’s stealing a pack of gum and we call our logo ‘The Shield,’ like we’re some kind of super fucking hero,” Goodell said. “We can do whatever we damn well please.”
The plan has some detractors, most notably Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, who hosted the 2018 draft at his football stadium/amusement park/cult headquarters.
“I just sold 50,000 pints of watered-down, even more than normal, Bud Light to dudes with three names who come to our stadium to hear the names of college athletes they’ve never heard to be drafted by teams they never watch – how fucking great is America,” Jones beamed, with $100 bills flowing out of each pocket. “Roger will take every chance to screw me that he can get. At the owner’s meeting, he was talking about future sites of the draft and told him if he ever takes the NFL draft out of Jerry World, and I quote, “you can stick your little draft in your anus. I should think before I speak.”
In a statement, Goodell praised Jones.
“Jerry Jones is not only a great host for the 2018 Draft but a visionary for future drafts. It was his selfless idea to stick our little draft in Uranus – an unmatched level of brilliance nobody in our game can hope to emulate.”
Other NFL owners said Jones is not unhappy because of the lost “Bud Light Bucks” in next year’s draft, but for a pragmatic reason.
“The cheap bastard just doesn’t want to reimburse his employees mileage for the trip,” said the owner, anonymously because money doesn’t buy you stones, apparently.
NFL Network host Rich Eisen is thrilled by the choice, and not only because Uncle Roger will be disappointed if he wasn’t.
“Some people say Uranus smells bad, but the truth is that nearby planets smell kinda fishy, if you know what I mean,” he said, mostly to hear himself be clever. “I like the choice because aliens are bald and, well, you see me, and because maybe Michael Irvin’s won’t be so outworldly in a place so, well, outwardly.”
One thing is certain, Eisen said.
“The Browns are on the clock,” he offered. “Let’s face it, they had a bunch of picks but Baker Mayfield? Is this the NFL or a Mark Twain novel, for Chrissakes?”
A THOUSAND WORDS
The Seattle Seahawks’ newest linebacker, Shaquem Griffin. If he’s not already your favorite player, he should be.
RIDDLE ME THIS
Five cousins recently took played in a charity football game. Each wore a different colored shirt, and sporting a different number (not necessarily related to the position played). Each is a fan of a different football team; so find out which color of shirt and number each player wore, as well as the name of the team he supports.
1. The cousin who wore the white shirt (which didn’t have No. 33 printed on it) doesn’t support the Eagles.
2. The quarterback’s shirt had a number ten higher than that on the blue shirt worn by the wide receiver.
3. The running back, who supports the Jetstars, wore a higher number than that on his cousin’s orange shirt.
4. The Blue Sox supporter wore No. 23 and the linebacker wore No. 43.
5. The man in green supports the Dolphins and wore a number lower than that of the offensive linesman.
The first reader to email the correct guess will win an additional free month’s subscription – a whopping $4 value!!! Email your guess to BigMacFantasySports@gmail.com
DAD JOKE OF THE DAY
Because bad jokes fuel our world.
In the unlikely event of a tornado in Chicago, where are that city’s residents instructed to go?
Soldier Field. They never see a touch down there.